SexualiTEA: The Quarantine Edition
In this episode -- and every other episode of our “Time to CHAT” podcast -- we’re giving you the SexualiTEA. This episode spotlights sex and sexuality under quarantine. That includes safer sex tips, sexting, laws that are adultist, and young people getting necessary access to birth control and abortion care in these unprecedented times. Recommended for ages 14 and up. But, you do you. #SexEdSaves. View Transcript.
Featuring peer sex educators Val and Amy, with directing support from Ana and Ricardo. Thanks to HiMyNameIsMariana for audio editing and for creating all the music in this episode.
TRANSCRIPT // SexualiTEA - The Quarantine Edition
by Em Katzman and Alyssa Vera Ramos
Amy
We’re just so excited. We get so excited about sex Ed over here.
[Laughter]
Val
We do! We’re so excited to reach out to y’all and get y’all this information… um so… we’re hoping you take it in.
[MUSIC - all music by HiMyNameIsMariana]
[#TeamICAH Chant (by jireh l. drake and CHAT youth organizers):]
VOICE 1: Environmental Health is the RJ Way
ALL: And ICAH is riding that wave!
VOICE 2: Survivor-centered is the RJ Way
ALL: And ICAH is riding that wave!
VOICE 3: #FreeThemAll is the RJ Way
ALL: And ICAH is riding that wave!
VOICE 4: Youth Voice is the RJ way
ALL: And ICAH is riding that wave!
VOICE 5: Trans Led is the RJ way
ALL: And ICAH is riding that wave!
VOICE 6: Fun is the RJ way
ALL: And ICAH is riding that wave!
[MUSIC]
Amy
Hey everyone I’m Amy.
Val
- and I’m Val.
Amy
And this is Time to CHAT - the podcast. You’re listening to our very special segment called SexualiTEA!
Val
CHAT stands for the Change, Heal, Act Together Network. We are a group of youth organizers building towards reproductive justice and culture shift in our communities. We’re working towards changing minds, hearts, and systems.
Amy
This podcast is a project of the Illinois Caucus for Adolescent Health, or ICAH. ICAH is a network of empowered youth and adult accomplices who transform public consciousness and increase the capacity of school, family and healthcare systems to support the sexual health, rights, and identities of youth.
Val
On this episode -- and every other episode of our Time to CHAT podcast -- we’re giving you the SexualiTEA. Today, we get into sex and sexuality under quarantine. That includes safer sex tips, sexting, laws that are adultist, and young people getting necessary access to birth control and abortion care in these unprecedented times.
Amy
Another quick note - you’ll hear us talk about COVID-19 and safer sex on this episode, but information about this virus changes all the time. This episode first was recorded on May 1st, 2020, so things have changed. For instance, we’ve learned that in some serious infection cases, COVID 19 was found in semen. Therefore there is a likelihood that COVID could be sexually transmitted
Val
Lastly, because information about sexual and reproductive health services has sometimes been hard to find under COVID-19 quarantine times, ICAH has released a resource guide to support folks in getting their needs met. Check that out in the podcast description.
Amy
And without further ado….
Val
Here’s the SexualiTEA !
[MUSIC and sounds of tea being poured and sipped]
Val
Okay. Hi, I'm Val, I use she/her pronouns.
Amy
What's up? I'm Amy. I use they/them pronouns.
Val
I've been a sex educator for about three and a half years, um, working with ICAH.
Amy
And I have been one for two years with ICAH.
Val
And this is the Sexuali-TEA part of the- part of the podcast, where we discuss sexual health and current events. So Amy, what's been happening?
Amy
So, we are all in this quarantine time… COVID-19 is here with us. And so New York City actually dropped a guide talking - the New York City Health Department - dropped a guide talking about sex during quarantine. And there's so there’s still a lot to learn about COVID-19 in general, let alone COVID-19 in regards to sex, so, this guide is really interesting to go through and I'll just kinda, you know, hit the points that I thought were interesting.
Val
Mm-hm.
Amy
And you let me know what you think, Val.
Val
Cool
Amy
But basically, it just said like COVID-19 has not yet been found in semen or vaginal fluid yet. But as we know, sex isn’t all about semen and vaginal fluids.
Val
Yes!
Amy
And it's just so much more than that. So it's hard to say that if you have sex, you won't get COVID-19 in these times. Um, and in the guide, it actually specifically says that COVID-19 has been found in feces of people who are infected with the virus, so -
Val
Oh interesting.
Amy
Yeah, right. It says to specifically avoid rimming, which, you know, it’s fun that the government is telling us not to rim, I like that for some reason, but also who knows. But, you know, if folks are choosing to do that, I think it's important to remember to be using condoms and dental dams and protect ourselves as best we can, you know?
Val
Yes. Yes. And remember there's flavored dental dams as well. Quality.
Amy
Yes! Yes, that is so important. Oh my gosh, those are so fun too. Dental dams are a whole new world for a lot of people. And so [Laughs] guide talks about, like who your safe sex partners can be, and it says that like your safest sex partners or someone you live with, and yourself, so they say to avoid dates and sex with people outside of your household, even if they're in your smart - small knit circle. And to especially avoid like, contact with new people.
Val
Yes, no Grindr hookups.
Amy
No [Laugh] Grindr hookups. I would avoid Tinder. You know, it's all about that emotional connection right now.
Val
Exactly [laughs]
Amy
Yeah, and the government actually also- in the guide, it talks about sexting and it encourages sexting, which is fun.
Val
Interesting. How does it encourage it? Since it’s touch free? Social distancing?
Amy
Yeah, exactly. Like it says that sexing is a good option to, you know, explore it and like, let out your sexual wave instead of like, being with a person.
Val
Cool.
Amy
Yeah. Yeah. And we'll talk about sexing a little bit more in a minute. Uh, but to go back to you are your safest sex partner: um, now more than ever, you know, it's important to wash our hands and to wash our sex toys… and soap and warm water do the trick for washing your sex toys. And just in general, just to make sure to wash them all the time to avoid yeast infections, UTIs. A lot of things can come from it if you don't, you know, keep up with your cleanliness.
Val
Well, speaking of health in the vaginal area, there's been this trend I've seen, well as a Gen Z, there's been this trend I've seen on Tik Tok, I really love Tik Tok, I have a Tik Tok addiction. And there’s this trend I see on Tik Tok, and on Tik Tok, there's a lot of people who have vaginas that are, you know, using ice and putting it in there like, vulva.
Amy
Hmm.
Val
So, I'm wondering, like, is that safe? Or like, is that something that you should be doing? Cuz I know we're all really bored here in quarantine, and I've seen probably about like, a lot of, I've seen a lot of viral videos of people doing it, and they all say it's, you know, a pleasurable experience, but I'm wondering if it's really a safe one.
Amy
Is it the videos like of their reaction? Like...
Val
Yes, it's not of -- their actual --
Amy
[Laughs] Okay, that makes sense, but I was like, I gotta I- you know, I'm a Millennial so I'm not in on this Tik Tok situation, but I should be, and … that sounds very interesting. I would like to watch the reactions. But I know that like, I don't know for sure. I think that's a great question. I feel like you can like, put it around but maybe not in your vulva…?
Val
Mmm. Okay. Well, the only thing I saw about it was that it was fine to do... occasionally? [Laughter]... from some gynecologist on Tik Tok, but I don't know the legitimacy of gynecologists on Tik Tok.
Amy
[Laughs] I love -- I love that uh... demographic. Yeah, that's - that's wild. Tik Tok is… cool. I approve of it.
Val
[Laughs] Okay.
Amy
The new Vine. [Laughs]
Val
[Laughs] Yes.
Amy
Yeah. Okay. So, just quickly going back to sexting, so you know, more and more, sexting is like very, I think normalized in this day and age just with like talking about, you know, um, the internet and…. Just, times are changing fast and laws do not know how to keep up with the times and the past law that was - well, okay, so sexting laws are different in each state. And in Illinois, the last one that was passed was in 2010. And it's specifically uh, in regards for young people. And it says that young people under 18, sending any nude or semi nude - they say “indecent visual images” - may be subject to prosecution. So basically, legal - legally young people under 18 cannot send nude photos to - even to like folks that are younger than 18. Which I think is really interesting just in like this day of like, reclaiming your body and like Instagram and Tik Tok and like folks being able to just like be themselves without being sexualized all the time. I don't know, what are your thoughts on this?
Val
I… I don't know. I think it's kinda I think, yeah, I think it is outdated and I think it doesn't work for our generation, honestly. Because that's just the way that... a lot of people are. It's you know, we live in a digital era so we want our pleasure to be digitally. And I think that too, you know, also people who are just posting like body positivity, that could like technically be seen as lewd or, you know, semi nude. Very, which is very interesting to me. I think that's really interesting. Also, I'm thinking about just like, bikini pics and things like that such. What does that fall under?
Amy
Exactly.
Val
And I have seen a lot of, you know, people do their school projects on sexting laws. And, um, you know, they talk about how you can be registered as a sex offender by like, just having someone’s you know, pictures. So I think it's very interesting. And I think it - it protects people. But I've still seen a lot of, you know… there was speaking of Tik Tok, there was just a young girl on there who was quite famous on Tik Tok and someone had leaked her nudes. And you know, it- she was really like- she wasn't destroyed, but you know, she was really going through a lot mentally and that really, you know, she talked about how it really like, rocked her kind of world … not, you know - having been under age, and having that put out about her.
Amy
Yeah, all these laws just need like so much more nuance to them, and they need to actually work with young people in order to make them. It's just very frustrating. Yeah, for sure. And there are laws in Illinois that talk about revenge porn, so that is a great thing. Revenge porn is illegal. So if someone leaks your nudes without your consent, it - no matter like what age you are - that is illegal and they can be fined and prosecuted for that.
Val
Oh, really? That's really interesting. Hm.
Amy
Yes. That is good for us. Good for knowledge … good to know.
Val
I’ve also heard of something called a nude patent. I don't know what that is.
Amy
Yeah. I tried to do more research on the patenting of nudes. This is like another big topic that I've seen on like a lot of like sex workers’ Instagrams talking about nude patenting, and like what that means, but I think it's very different in different states. So again, these laws just trying to confuse us... patent our nudes, but it's hard.
Val
I think we should just encourage our listeners to you know, do their own research for their own state because, you know… and people live in conservative states or they live in these liberal states and different views on the rights people have over their bodies.
Amy
I agree.
Val
So that’s pretty important.
Amy
Speaking of state to state differences, Val, what do you gotta say about sexual health resources?
Val
I mean, I feel like… um… [Laughs] I feel like people are a little… Oh my God, why can’t I transition? [Lots of laughter, silly noises].
People don't really know that we have this like plethora of sexual health resources available to us as we are locked down in our homes. And you're probably thinking why, I literally can't leave my house to do anything, that would lead me to really needing a sexual health resource. Or maybe you might! So this is a good you know, little segment for you.
And you should - everyone should know as well. Um … and I know there's many different you know, forms of use for birth control as well. For me, I've used birth control myself, for you know, some of my cystic acne problems and things of that such. So, you know, birth control and the pill and things of that such, or, you know, I've known lots of young girls and people who've used it just for their - to get periods regularly. So, yeah, just know that a lot of our sexual health centers are open right now! So if you call them, you know what hours they're doing, and they might vary at this time right now, because a lot of our healthcare professionals are under very harsh conditions right now. You know, they are complying with the CDC right now, so they are doing social distancing and things of that such. Um, but... you know, still call them up and when you call them up, I think you might learn about this thing called telehealth.
Amy
Yes.
Val
Which is a really interesting thing.
Amy
Telehealth is the future, it's amazing.
Val
Yes, it's a really amazing, it's really amazing to be able to call in and get whatever you need. I think it's so like, more efficient and reasonable with the schedules that we have these days.
Amy
Yeah. And telehealth is basically just going to the doctor’s through your phone, which should have been a thing forever, if you think about it, but … you know.
Val
[Laughs] That's true. That’s on periodt.
Amy
They're slow. They’re slow! [Laughs]
Val
Especially yeah, cuz I don’t think we think about maybe it's someone's accessible needs and things of that such.
Amy
Yes, absolutely.
Val
So make sure you're always keeping young people in mind. I love how accessible telehealth makes things right. Um, so this is a really great way for people to get birth control. You can get your birth control, you can get, you know, STD testing, or even gender affirming hormone therapy. And this is all you know, information from Planned Parenthood right now. So if you're wondering where um, you can get some of these resources, look up your local Planned Parenthood, and just give them a call. Um, you know, you know, sometimes birth control requires an in person appointment, and those aren't as available right now - you should check in with your health care provider. I don't really suggest you do that unless, you know, you really feel it's urgent. And your provider says that you can't do telehealth at the moment. Or you're just not in a - in an environment where it's possible for you to do that. But you know, it can happen just talking with the healthcare provider. I'm sure they're open to helping you, you know… Um, birth control is a very essential thing to have. Your sexual health is really a huge part of your health, and never feel like it’s anything to be ashamed of, or not really be paying attention to, even at the time of a pandemic, because our health is a whole. like... piece of us. If one is suffering, then the other one is right.
Amy
Mm hmm. Yep. Holistic healthcare. So important.
Val
Mhm. Telehealth is still amazing. She's winning. She's everything. Yes, Queen, you've done it again, raising the bar for us all. Okay?
Amy
We love her.
Val
Okay?? So she is doing amazing things. She's helping people get refills on birth control, such as the pill, the ring, the patch, and you can even get EC - or the morning after pill, as it’s been called - which is really great, if you had unprotected sex or your birth control has expired. And usually know if you have … or if you skipped you know, your birth control and you know, you need to use a separate sort of contraceptive. You know, EC is always a good, pretty safe option.
Amy
Yes, for sure. I’ve also used telehealth for UTIs and yeast infections. They’re great.
Val
Oh yeah, that's really interesting. I didn't know that. That's a really good resource. Cuz those probiotics aren’t hard to get. And they're really great.
Also, switching over a little bit to abortion. You know, abortion is still legal in 50 states!
Amy
Ooh!
Val
And it is considered time sensitive, essential. Although a lot of you know, a lot of states have been trying to be a little sneaky with all the COVID things happening at the moment. And they've been trying to, you know…. like, I know Texas was just trying to make it like a six week rule or something of the sort. And, you know, I know that that did not get through at the moment, which is very exciting.
Amy
Yes.
Val
But Texas was really trying to outlaw abortions at this moment, and that would have been, you know, not very good. So I'm glad that we have all these great, like sexual health warriors going out and making sure that people feel like they have control of their bodies and to keep something that is growing inside of them or not. Because it's a large responsibility. And you might not be mentally emotionally, financially ready, or you might just not want it.
Amy
Absolutely.
Val
And that's fine too. We should always feel free to do that.
Amy
For sure. Like you said, that is sooo sneaky. Of course they would do that.
Val
Mhm, and so shady. Okay? [Laughter] That is bogus. And they should not have done that, right. Megan Thee Stallion and Beyonce just dropped a song together. The Houston Hotties I feel like saved the day.
[Laughter]
Val
Okay. You know, here in Illinois, abortion is also defined as a essential health care service, right? So we still, um... however, you know, we still have the Parental Notification law, which ICAH has been tirelessly trying to repeal... we really don't like PNA... she’s - we don't like her. You know, she inhibits young people from getting an abortion when they need it, right. So for folks that are 17 and younger, who need an abortion, they need to have their parent notified before they get like a - I believe about 48 hours - before they get an abortion…. which can be so detrimental to them, you know?
Amy
Mhm. Yep.
Val
And not have them even be able to go to... the place where they can [get an] abortion, or it's when they come home be kicked out or be in an abusive sort of situation with a parent or some type of caretaker, which we really don't want because we want all young people to be thriving, and be safe and happy and healthy at home. Right?
Amy
Yes, right.
Val
But there is one way around* PNA that is called judicial bypass [*judicial bypass is part of parental notice law in Illinois]. And what that is, is, you know, you would go to a court and explain why you are basically, you know, mature enough to get the abortion without letting your, um, you know, parental guardian know, just your parental figure know, right? Um, and the ACLU has the -- has the Illinois Judicial Bypass Project. Right? And that's where they you know, they have lawyers, lawyers there at the ACLU that will help you get everything you need to give you the transportation, give you everything that you need to be able to get a judicial bypass. And, you know, make sure that your parent or guardian is not notified, so that you can… so that you can access abortion care safely and swiftly. And if you need to look this up, or you need a resource, a really good place to find out information about the judicial bypass is the ILjudicialbypass.org. You can also call or text the ACLU, which is really amazing. They're really chill lawyers like that. Some of my favorite people that I've ever met, very smart, very chill people with some of the most stressful jobs.
Amy
That's awesome. I like that you can text them too. I think that's cool and accessible and keeping up with the times.
Val
Yeah, especially like texting because, um, you know, you can't always find a space to be private.
Amy
Yeah. Especially if you’re in quarantine. Mm hmm.
[TRANSITION MUSIC]
Amy
Hey again everyone ! It’s Amy here, popping in to say that May has been Sex Ed for All Month, and you know we love sex Ed. Again, we encourage folks to check out the resource guide ICAH created for sexual & reproductive health under COVID. It has lots of great sex education resources, including:
the “Sex Under COVID” guide mentioned earlier in the podcast,
great websites like Sex Etc. and Scarleteen, Bedsider for birth control, and Amaze.org for middle schoolers and younger people,
plus organizations we love like Chicago Volunteer Doulas -- who are still providing emotional support around birth under COVID --- and Chicago Abortion Fund -- who can help pay for your abortion, and who have a lot of great COVID resources on their own website!
We also [laughs] want to name that there’s still time to celebrate Masturbation May…. a super healthy self-love practice under quarantine. Now back to the podcast, where we’re talking about one of our favorite online sexual health resources, Scarleteen.com.
[TRANSITION MUSIC]
Okay. So this is great, because inclusive and accurate information on sex and relationships, right. And relationships are such a big part of sex ed, because I feel like, um, you know, like, I feel like sex is part of you know, a relationship. And if you're not maybe in the healthiest relationship that, you know, can tend to lead to sex that maybe isn't sex, or sex that is, maybe a little bit coerced or scary and we never want that for anybody. So make sure that you're always staying updated on your relationship healthiness and things of that such. And you know, everybody's fighting right now! Cuz we're all so stressed and anxious. So maybe we'll give you some core relationship tips to handle during the pandemic, and maybe some cute flirty texts you’ll be able to send or something of that sort?
Amy
For sure. Scarleteen has such a good wide of like, any sort of content you need. Whether it’s like if you're going through like a domestic violence situation, or you just need like, right, like how to sex good….They also have a lot - they have a lot of writings about like having a disability and having um sex and I think they also have a lot of good content on being chronically ill, and that's really important in these times because, you know, if you’re immunocompromised like you're living like differently than folks who are always healthy. So they talk about that and sex too, and they do a great job of having that discussion.
Val
Yes, that's amazing. And also, on relationships. I don't know about y'all, but I might be coming out this pandemic with seven boyfriends.
[Laughter]
[Laughs] So you have to - you have to take the time to figure that out.
Amy
Val, me too! I'm in over my head!
[Lots of laughter]
[MUSIC]
Val
Thank you all for your time. We really appreciate it. And I want to give a big ol’ shout out to SHIFT, the Sexual Health Initiative for Teens for giving us that information, as well as Planned Parenthood for answering a lot of the questions about how we can access these great sexual health resources during this very scary, anxiety-inducing time. We ain’t gotta be anxious about our sexual health. So that’s amazing. Um, and just a shout out to Amy as well …
Amy
Shoutout to Val!
Val
[Laughs] For being a great host with me
Amy
Yeah, yes. Take care of yourself, everyone!
Val
Make sure you're staying happy, healthy, whole… and see you guys later! This was Sexuali-TEA.
Amy
Bye!
Val
Bye.
[MUSIC. Tea Sounds.]
[END]