Youth Uncensored: On Quarantine
In this episode, CHAT organizers will be talking about quarantine: youth’s experiences in quarantine, and how quarantine is affecting us and our communities. We encourage our audience to take care of themselves as we get into conversations about real stories within the quarantine. Listen - it’s “Youth Uncensored.”
Featuring Will, Sophia, Hannah, Taylor, and Ricardo. Thanks to HiMyNameIsMariana for audio editing and for creating all the music in this episode.
TRANSCRIPT // Youth Uncensored: On Quarantine
by Taylor Lane, Grey Miller, Ricardo Pliego and Alyssa Vera Ramos
[MUSIC - all music by HiMyNameIsMariana]
[#TeamICAH Chant (by jireh l. drake and CHAT youth organizers):]
VOICE 1: Environmental Health is the RJ Way
ALL: And ICAH is riding that wave!
VOICE 2: Survivor-centered is the RJ Way
ALL: And ICAH is riding that wave!
VOICE 3: #FreeThemAll is the RJ Way
ALL: And ICAH is riding that wave!
VOICE 4: Youth Voice is the RJ way
ALL: And ICAH is riding that wave!
VOICE 5: Trans Led is the RJ way
ALL: And ICAH is riding that wave!
VOICE 6: Fun is the RJ way
ALL: And ICAH is riding that wave!
[MUSIC]
WILL
Hey everyone, my name is Will and
SOPHIA
My name is Sophia, and
WILL
Welcome to “Time to CHAT: the Podcast.”
CHAT stands for Change, Heal, Act Together Network, and it is a group of youth organizers building towards reproductive justice and culture [shift] in our communities. We’re working towards changing minds, hearts, and systems.
SOPHIA
This podcast is a project of the Illinois Caucus [for] Adolescent Health, or ICAH. ICAH is a network of empowered youth and adult accomplices who transform public consciousness and increase the capacity of school, family and healthcare systems to support the sexual health, rights, and identities of youth.
On today’s episode, we will be talking about quarantine: youth’s experiences in quarantine, and how quarantine is affecting them and their communities. We encourage our audience to take care of themselves as we get into conversations about real stories within the quarantine. It’s Youth Uncensored!
WILL
Taking care of yourself might look like remembering to breathe, drinking water, or pausing.
SOPHIA
And with that,
SOPHIA & WILL
It’s “Time to CHAT”!
[LAUGHTER]
[MUSIC]
WILL
Hey everyone. We’re doing our first podcast episode together. Just CHAT organizers, gonna be chatting bout stuff. Uh... I think it would be super cool if we all get to introduce ourselves and answer a check-in question. Hannah offered the check-in question, “What song would be on your quarantine playlist?” I can start. My name is Will. I use They/them pronouns and there’s a song “My Favorite Shirt is My Skin” by Mod Sun. Super affirming, makes me feel super joyful, and that definitely helped me through this quarantine. Sophia? Co-host?
SOPHIA
Hi, yes. Hi, I’m Sophia, co-hosting with Will. My pronouns that I use are anything with love and respect. And for my quarantine playlist, I would definitely have to say one of the songs would be, “Can’t Get Next to You” by The Temptations. Um, I’ve loved that song since I was a little kid. Um, I’d always ask my dad to play it because in his car it was his music or nothing so that was one of the songs we shared together so, “Can’t Get Next to You”. I also feel like the title’s very relevant, [Laughter] to the current situation. Popcorn, uh, tooo... Ricardo.
RICARDO
Hi, my name is Ricardo. I use all pronouns interchangeably and respectfully. And um... two songs that I actually added to my quarantine playlist or whatever is umm 1. “Say So” by Doja Cat but like the remix with Nicki because, period. Because you just can’t like, period. And then when I wanna feel dramatic and in my feels and just like host a whole theatre production in my head, it’s umm “No Place Like Home” from Todrick Hall umm from that album, Straight Outta Oz. Really fulfills me, really fulfills my drama, and I’ll popcorn over to Hannah.
HANNAH
My name is Hannah, my pronouns are she/her and on my quarantine playlist is, “No Plan” by Hozier. It’s just like a really good song to like remind you to be gentle with yourself, it’s also super fucking dramatic. And I’m - I’m just obsessed with Hozier and I’m not ashamed to admit it, you know? [Laughter] Popcorn to Taylor.
TAYLOR
Hiiii, I’m Taylor. Umm, they/them pronouns. Umm, and I think a song on my quarantine playlist is also by Hozier, umm. It’s called, “Wasteland Baby,” and I feel like it’s also very relevant because the whole song surrounds like a dystopian era but like still listening to him talking bout self-care and loving one another and loving the person that he’s with even though all this bullshit is going around now and so it’s a really good song. And also I think umm Megan Thee Stallion’s “Savage” Remix with Beyonce dropped, that shit hits. It slaps so hard, and it’s really really good and I recommend you listening to it.
WILL
You brought a Hozier song that it’s about self-care and “Wasteland” was brought up, I’m wondering -- “Can I Get Close to You” -- all these song titles explaining the world that we live in right now. I’m wondering how you all are practicing self-care.
HANNAH
That’s a really good question. Uh, I’ve just been trying to like push myself to stay creative, I’m like doing writing prompts and like I’m working on a play right now with my ensemble and I’m also trying to stay on top of school work and set schedules for myself that I’m challenging myself to actually keep to. Oh! I’m working with the Free Street youth ensemble and when that play is finished, everyone should watch it cause it’s good. Um... and I’m also like -
WILL
Is it, Wasted?
HANNAH
No it’s not- yeah it’s Wasted, it’s Wasted. I don’t know why I said no. [Laughs]
WILL
[Laughs] What’s Wasted?
HANNAH
What is Wasted, what is the show? Ummm but im also like really challenging myself to also not be overly productive, and to just be like, “I don’t have to come out of quarantine knowing six different languages, with abs and great hair. It’s okay to just like, take care of myself.” [Laughs.]
RICARDO
For me, I’m just like, I’m blissfully unhinged. Like I know like it’s usually a bad thing to be like, “Oh my god they’re unhinged.” Period. I am unhinged. I have no rules, I do whatever I want, within you know, reason. Umm If i need to go step outside my porch and get some fresh air, booboo, I’ma step out. If I need to go on a drive in my car and just like clear out my mind, I’ma do that cause gas prices are cheap. Umm If i need to clean, I’ma clean cuz i'm Mexican. [Laughs.] And just do whatever I need to do, but right now I’m kinda trying to focus on umm to fulfill like, the Capricorn in me, it’s just try to reconnect to my culture and it’s literature and it’s poems and stuff like that. And through that, I’m really trying to, or I’m really starting to see a little bit of who I am um, as a Mexican-American.
WILL
Ooo, what has that looked like for you so far?
RICARDO
When I tell you -
[Loud Background Noise]
WILL
That was exciting.
RICARDO
So … first of all, lemme just put her out. Her name is Sor Juana Inez de la Cruz and she was, to my knowledge, the first feminist writer um, in Latin America actually, and she has a long story that I won’t bore you with but it’s not boring it’s like, great. Uh, and she just talks so much about how like how men ain’t shit and about how you know patriarchies and stuff like that like they make no sense. Um, so through that I'm really seeing where “ La Sangre Azteca,” where my Aztec blood is like I am fueled with generations of revolutions. And I’m really like, you know, getting into that.
WILL
Taylor, what about you? What have you been up to, to practice self-care?
TAYLOR
Umm, I think one of the things that I’ve been up to with practicing self-care is that, um Ricardo mentioned going on drives. I go on drives with my ,om all of the time and we mostly drive down, LSD, Lakeshore Drive, cause it’s a really nice scene and it’s like it’s like not crowded so you can see the sunrise if you go like super early. And just drive down the lake. Umm that’s really nice, and I feel very humble to have that with her and get that time spent with her because like, as we’ve said before capitalism makes us feel like we have to be productive to have value in our lives and that’s not true. And I think that umm that it’s kind of a privilege to even be able to like better yourself during this quarantine, like to have the time and availability to like workout or like I don’t know make yourself better, learn six languages like while others of us have to work and continue to have like stress and stuff, ya know? Worry bout whether or not we’re gonna, you know, have enough financial stability to last the week.
WILL
Yeah, it’s definitely a privilege. :ike all over social media a ton of celebrities like, “Hey everyone do your part!” and they’re like in a mansion. Ahh JP [Pritzker]’s wife is in on a ranch while JP’s here cause they own multiple properties ‘round the country, like they’re still distancing but like their distancing does not look like us, look like ours. Uh, share some of that billionaire money to help us out.
SOPHIA
I think I’m also gonna answer the question posed, like... self-care, and then I’m gonna popcorn it to you Will. Um, because we’re all going through something right. So, uh, for me personally I’ve been like documenting as much as I can during this pandemic because you know, it’s kinda like that kinda, point in history where it’s like your grandkids are gonna be like “you were in the pandemic, what was that like?” or… or even if you don’t have grandkids, like, younger people than you, you know? [Laughs] I’m saying, the next generation will have like, those questions, so I’ve been documenting, I like journal, and I like record sound and stuff like that, um… and I’m trying to take pictures. I really wish I had a camera, not a phone to do this cause it’s just better quality, but… we gotta work with what we got, right?
Uh, and yeah, a lot of cleaning, ya know? Lots of cleaning, and I think the pandemic has everyone cleaning but it’s just like going through your house like your whole house is like such a different experience cause I’m like finding things, I’m like “I haven’t seen this thing in 5 years” or uh you know like if you go behind a cabinet, I’m like “Damn! It’s really dusty back there, I really wish I knew about that.” So, yeah, that’s been me. How bout you, Will?
WILL
I love that you bring up cleaning because I’ve found a way to still, throughout the 50 days we’ve been in quarantine, however long we’ve been in quarantine, I have still yet to clean my room. [Laugh] I spend most of my time, other than like work and school, like sitting on my balcony, taking in that fresh air, doing photoshoots, looking cute, getting those social media likes up. [Laughs] Um or I’m like like exercising, or I'm just noodling and kinda procrastinating everything I should do. But, the world’s on fire so why should I be super productive.
Yeah, it’s such a privilege to be able to stay home, though. It’s been really… I’m fortunate to like still, to be at home and still have my job. I know a ton of artists that got super suddenly unemployed. My roommate was in a show that closed. I have many classmates that were real excited for their performance that was opening the week after our school shut down, or, yeah, the week after our school shut down …. and people are heart broken because they’ve spent like six weeks working real hard on bringing this story to life and to share with all of us, all for it to be taken away. So my heart goes out to anyone who lost commitments, canceled plans, all those things. And now we’re bored in the house. In the house bored. [Sigh]
SOPHIA
Honestly, I love that remix, that was just the best thing to come out of this quarantine. Um, yea honestly I’m a college student, I’m a senior, and I’m also an Art Student. So this has been a very difficult time for a lot of artists, especially in my thesis class because we were meant to have like this big show at the end of the year, it was supposed to be on April 10th but then with everything that happened, it got canceled. And, at - you know - our school provided us studios to work so it’s like we all have to vacate those studios basically. And so now that I’m home I’m like I really don’t have the space to make things like... I do a lot of fabric work and stuff so it’s like I don’t have the space to do that now. Umm, I mean I guess technically. but it’s just like it’s so small compared to what I had and what other students had. We had this big show planned out then it was just kinda taken from us, you know.
So it’s been really difficult to navigate that, I can only imagine how like other artists, like theatre people and dancers and all those folks, like how that went for them as well. And with that being said like, I really wanted to ask, y’all, how has school been for y'all? How has your education changed, what have your teachers done during this pandemic for you and your classmates or you know your whole schools? How has that experience been for y'all?
RICARDO
Triflin’. Like, [Laughs] I’m sorry but triflin’, or at least, so, I’m a CPS student, I am a senior, I will be attending UIC in the fall. Am I happy about it? No. Am I grateful? Yes. But that’s beside the point. So um, triflin’ because they think I got all the time in the world and the only thing that I’m supposed to be focusing on is their damn requirements.
WILL
Right, some teachers don’t seem to understand that there is a worldwide pandemic happening and that school should not be the main focus.
HANNAH
A lot of schools also aren’t acknowledging that it’s like, e-learning is not the same as learning in a classroom. Cuz I’ve been homeschooled my whole life, so I know what it is to have to like, to have to set the schedule and to not really have a schedule except for what I’ve set and to be the only person I see in class all day, but it’s - I feel it’s very hard to make that transition from like … you work in these specific spaces and your day looks like this, and to then just have to make that switch, I feel like has been very hard.
And I'm hearing a lot of things from friends about how people have been not being mindful of the fact that some people’s home lives are dysfunctional. Like people are like keeping set times where you have to take tests at this time, otherwise they’re like deducting points or whatever but like, people still have to go to work, umm, my mom doesn’t care that you wanted to have this lecture, I have to do laundry, you know? It’s - [Laughs] It’s really kinda like, I feel like a lot of teachers have been like sort of... inconsiderate of familial expectations and people’s mental health during this pandemic and the fact that it’s really really hard to have to be entirely responsible for your studies while be socially, like completely disconnected from your education support system.
WILL
Has there been any teachers, or can anyone speak to, a situation where a school is responding well... while social distancing?
HANNAH
I take classes at a community college and those teachers have been really cool, um... there’s … like they’re being really lax about deadlines and I’m pretty sure - I have one, my speech teacher I’m pretty sure iis just giving us an A for showing up. Like she hasn’t said it, but I feel like we’re all just getting As in that class, and like um… In my math class, the grading system was shifted to place more weight on attendance than actual performance so I thought that was pretty cool. Those - those professors have been really nice.
RICARDO
Yeah, and on my side, not every teacher is triflin’. Like some teachers are triflin’, but mine aren’t because I’m blessed, um but also I feel that that’s another conversation where it’s like are seniors of this graduating class experiencing a certain amount of privilege with these schools because we are like leaving like this is supposed to be our last semester. And because of that, I feel like some teachers, at least my teachers, are being more lax with just like, show up, I need to report something back to CPS, so as long as you click a button on Google classroom saying that you’re here, that’s fine you’ll get points for that. Um but I also understand that in, that’s a privilege cause I go to Lane Tech which is a selective enrollment school, where they get multiple funding sources and multiple sources of income, versus in other, like impoverished neighborhoods in Chicago where these test scores they get really matter in how much funding they get for the next year. So, my teachers are good, period. But, not….
WILL
[Laughs] Yea, I grew up southside Chicago and I went to the same high school Taylor goes to, Walter Payton, and I know that Payton has a ton more privilege than any of the schools near the place where I actually lived. So, Taylor, I wanted to ask, how has Payton been responding to social distancing?
TAYLOR
I think that they have been responding in both a negative and positive way. I feel like it’s kind of like a - like a check and balance system really, because they are really lenient on the work that they’re giving out. There’s no real deadlines, if you get it done then it’s gonna improve your grade. Like their assignments are optional so if you want to improve your grade, you can improve your grade if you do these certain assignments. And some of them are easy some of them are hard, it just depends on how many points they’re worth. But at the same time, I’m like okay, but what about the students who need to improve their grade but can’t because they don’t have access to internet or access to certain privileges like a computer, even though we as a school are really good with distributing like our privileges to the students, such as um, free Chromebooks… umm, hotspots... umm, textbooks, other schools aren’t.
And I think that that disparity has always been there but with the pandemic, we as Walter Payton students, are able to do our work and are able to um you know to complete it if we need be and we have the option of showing up to meetings but other students like don’t have that opportunity to even go to a meeting or to even improve their grade which obviously shows there’s some disparity and like if, I mean, speaking for the Mayor - like, if we are required to complete schooling then basically you’re admitting that internet is a right, to have internet, like that’s what you’re saying if you’re forcing us to go through schooling still. And yet, we look at neighborhoods and all these people that don’t have internet and I’m just like “Okay so clearly... like you, 1) are trying to keep these neighborhoods in disparity or 2) you just don’t care about them” and I mean it’s probably both. Like it really is honestly is both, and that makes me really upset.
SOPHIA
Yea I - I totally feel y’all on a lot of these subjects we’re talking about … because I mean, I’m in college so it’s been its own thing. It’s been really like difficult cause like personally for me, I signed up to be part of in-person classes, like that’s just the person I am, and it’s been very difficult um, transitioning into an, like online version, and... some teachers are very understanding, others are not but you know, I’m bout to be out this B so, uh… [Laughs] I’m not gonna get into that. But um, [for our] conversation, I just wanted to know, how have y’all like been sustaining your like, relationships and your communities while like social distancing has been going on?
HANNAH
I’ve been spending a lot of time with my little siblings right now because I have time to do that. I feel like before this pandemic happened I overpacked my schedule like I felt like I constantly had to be busy and now that a lot of my things have been canceled I feel like I’m forced to like...I’m forced to be here and like to notice the people I live with. So like I’m playing...I’ve been spending a lot of time playing dolls with my sister who is five. Um. Recently... the dolls had an existential crisis about not being able to stand up on their own, which was which was fun! Um
I'm learning a lot about World War II with my 11 year old brother because he is obsessed with World War II, so I've been watching documentaries and reading books so I can talk to him about that and really connect with him. And I’m also like discussing a lot of like queer feminist theory with my older sibling because that's what we wanted to do! So that’s been really nice to like… really see how cool my family is and just like… because you know you always love them but like now I'm sort of like getting to notice that I like these people.
TAYLOR
For sure, and I think that like spending more time on the family, um, on that note Hannah … I've been having the time available to spend time with my mom which I'm grateful for, cuz she works... she’s a teacher but she also taught night school so I never really got to see her, she never really got to see me cuz I was involved in other activities and clubs and sports. So now we have all this free time, and it’s like... I never knew how much my mom was kind of a stranger like before this pandemic, like I didn't really know…. like we didn't really know each other... like we knew each other obviously, cuz she’s my mom. But we didn't know know each other like she didn't know what I like to do on my free time, I didn’t know what she liked to do in her free time. So we just… we kind of like made our own free time together, by cooking together and going for drives and stuff.
Something she’s doing that I’m starting to get involved with, in terms of like community-wise, she works with BPNC Brighton Park committee and they're currently hosting a diaper drive, as in, the community donates to them and they go out and buy these diapers mostly for undocumented parents, undocumented mothers, who don’t have the ability to you know, go out and and be exposed to unfortunately the corona virus or either they don't have the money right now, or they aren't getting a stimulus check, because unfortunately they’re undocumented so they don’t reap the benefits that other people are getting. So now, we just get donations from the community, go out to buy the diapers and then we drop them off at their house or they come pick them up at certain locations. And so I think that's really it's really like opened my eyes to see that like like I can help out in my community and that my mom is doing a lot too, to help out in the community where she works, making sure that other people are like also living also like, living a sustained life because they deserve that, that’s their human right.
RICARDO
Yeah yeah to what Taylor said, period. Period to Taylor and Hannah. Period all around.
Um…. similar like… I know it sounds so weird to say like your parents or your guardians or like people who you live with can end up becoming like strangers because you schedules can be so like … hectic, and they’re all different right. Similar with me. Now we…. It’s so interesting to like set new new boundaries that I've never had before with my parents or is just like we get to know each other better, and we get to…. we know which questions to ask each other, and we know how to um, kind of go into that. And it’s so….. it's a whole new perspective into like how to respect each other and how to love on each other, although we are so different. Me coming from a conservative Catholic household, it’s so interesting to see like how, what facets to like, explore.
And in terms of you know, keeping up with community, um, yesterday I had a one-hour phone call with my friends and we were on clubpenguin.com, and we were killing it, we were right there, doing whatever the penguins do. I got three puffles - if y’all know anything thing about Club Penguin - I got three puffles, um… [laughs] I downloaded MineCraft, and we are out here playing and yeah like also bringinging up to what Taylor said, in terms of actual community efforts, like where you live, I now understand why it's important to support local businesses and to go into local facilities and stuff like that … and obviously like, I can cook, I get tired of my own cooking. I get tired of washing these pans and I get tired of doing all these things and so sometimes I wanna give myself the luxury of not cooking dinner, of not doing something. So that really affords me…. like I get to look around and be like if I want tacos I'm go get tacos from down the street from Don Pepe that I haven’t seen in a minute, because I’ve been going to another place. Um, so that’s a great way to find that I build community in terms of supporting these people that you know, share space.
WILL
Zoom’s really been the MVP for connecting with folks lately. Me and my friends have - because like many folks mentioned already -- like our schedules never lineup and we don't get to spend much time together in person… but in a way this quarantine has been an equalizer for schedules. So we hop on, we play Jackbox games, we play … I did go on Club Penguin once, it was not a fun time … I tried to start a dance party and it got hijacked very fast … was not fun [laughs] … but, being with the friends and truly like spending that quality time where we just talk to each other, like I live for those moments where it’s just like we're sitting in silence on camera, just like vibing.
SOPHIA
Yes. Zoom really has been it. Honestly, before the quarantine, I hated group chats for the life of me. But now, it’s like, I absolutely love them because it keeps me and friends from school that we can’t see each other physically because we … like some folks may live in the suburbs, or out of state and stuff like that, so it’s really nice to have that because it feels like we’re constantly trying to keep in touch with each other. And yeah, being in this quarantine, I feel like I’ve been communicating a lot with my younger sister. You know before… we’re like only two years apart, but we didn’t have much in common, and like we were like reflecting so much on the past and when we feel like our relationship got much stronger, like when we felt like we could communicate more, and so like that was really nice to like go through that, to talk about those things, cuz I don’t think we would have had much of a chance to or time to really sit down and talk about that and realize like we went through like a couple of similar things like in high school and when we were kids. And I feel like getting to talk to my mom way more and my older sister too um… yeah it’s been such an interesting time to reflect with your loved ones… um, and yeah it’s just been wild. But yeah, I think…. Why don't we take a moment to do BiBo and if Will could lead that that would be amazing.
WILL
Yeah. BiBo stands for breathe in breathe out. It was created by Shanikha Rahim who is an Oakland activist and artist-musician who is amazing and is my grandmother who is not related by blood. [Laughs.] And it’s a tool used for grounding and releasing. So it works in a call-and-response way. I would say BiBo and everyone would take a deep breath in and let out a laugh or scream, a sigh, whatever your body might need in that moment. I recommend muting mics so that we [laughs] don't scream in each other's ears. But I'm going to say BiBo and take a deep breath and then I’m going to mute myself. BiBo.
[Pause for breathing.]
Thanks for that.
SOPHIA
Um, I wanted to, really quick, talk about essential workers because, you know, some of us… you know, we have parents that are essential workers, or maybe even siblings, aunts, uncles. Um, and I want to know how that’s been affecting everyone, like, emotionally, in terms of your safety, you know, anything…. I’ll start off. My mom is an essential worker. She works at the hospital, I’m not gonna say which one, because, you know, privacy. But yeah so it's been like really difficult … we had to have like a literal family conversation about what would happen because she... she could easily catch the virus at her job, you know what would happen if she caught it, like if one of us caught it, and then like how would we have to social distance in our own home? How would we have to, you know, go through… what would we have to go through if we all got sick together?
So that's been like really…. That's been really stressful... Because like, not many of you know, but I actually did contract the virus - my whole family did - and we're better now so you know that's that's good but it's been a trying few weeks because, you know, my mom obviously caught it at work and you know, it contracted to the rest of us, which I have to say made it slightly easier because of the fact that we didn't have to social distance in our own home, like we could still be next to each other cuz we can't make ourselves be more sick from being sick together, but you know it was really scary at one point because my mom did go to the hospital.
She is back home now which is great but she did have to be placed on oxygen and you know it was a scary few days because I really... I really wasn't sure what was going to happen, you know news doesn't make this whole experience any better because you know they’re talking about death rates and you know like things of that nature and you know... I wasn't really worried about myself even though I was sick because you know like I noticed that my symptoms weren’t as bad as they could have been but it's still like hard to go through because it's like I feel a virus that lingers like for some time, but you know I was so happy when my mom came home cuz like also… I’m a child of a one parent household, like my father passed away when I was 13, so it was like... so like traumatizing for the idea that I could lose my mom as well … um, yeah it was a wild time, but I'm so happy that she's back home and we're all doing better, she's been getting better day-by-day thank God, so, so yeah. Like with that said, how have the rest of you been?
WILL
First, thank you so much for sharing that with us and big props to your family, congratulations for feeling better and… ahh… that’s such a... experience to have in your family… thank you… and for being so open with us.
SOPHIA
Yeah, uh --
WILL
Uh, reminder to….Yeah?
SOPHIA
It’s - just for anyone who has had a similar experience, or, I don’t know if anyone has similar stories, but um, I think it’s important especially considering the political climate of this whole pandemic, that stories be shared… whether they want to be shared or not, but… people shouldn’t be afraid to share their stories. So, yeah.
WILL
Thank you for that. I just want to uplift a reminder to breathe for everyone. BiBo. [Indistinguishable] Yeah. If anyone else wants to share their stories.
RICARDO
Yeah, blessings to all of you -- on the call and all of youlistening, blessings to you and yours, and I hope that you are staying safe. Blessings to you and your family, Sophia… I know like so … my Godmother's husband, new husband, just contracted Coronavirus, so that’s fun… and we just had a death in the family from my dad’s side. So we've been managing, we've been hearing some things that we've been… my family especially we've been very used to being the core support system… um throughout our family branches, so that's a lot of vicarious trauma that we carry with us that we manage and things like that. Vicarious trauma, just for spelling, is - or whatever, if people don’t know what it is- it’s just trauma that’s not inherently yours, but because it happens to somebody else you carry it with you. Um, so we're used to being vicarious trauma carriers and managers and things like that um.
We are scared. Like I won't deny that, I won’t try to put a front that we are scared and we are anxious every time somebody comes into the door. Um, we always put so many precautions because losing one of us - it doesn't matter if it's like our guardians or my siblings or even my nephew - it hurts. It hurts period. Um, but. Through that is how we also came to be closer together. I know it sounds so cheesy but we, or at least I understand now, that like every life is precious. It makes me truly realize that I need to take a moment to you know, be with these people and understand them and like, love on them in ways that I didn’t before.
HANNAH
Yeah so I have immunocompromised family members who live in my house, and my brother and my dad are still working. My brother works in a grocery store and my dad works at warehouse and my mom has to take my brother to work because um, he doesn't drive. So we've been trying to like manage that like there's been a lot of cleaning happening in my house and a lot of like, we are taking like a lot of vitamin supplements, and I don't know how much they help, but I feel like, they help a little and they help a lot with managing anxiety, to feel like you’re doing something to protect your body. So, we’ve been trying to be like, really good about um, doing that.
But I just wanted to like , I really appreciate everybody like, sharing these stories about having immunocompromised family members and how the virus has affected you because I - I feel like there's been a lot of really gross and disturbing messaging that I've seen about like oh, the virus only affects old people or people with um, pre-existing conditions - and I feel like it's it's not an it “only” affects those people - those people matter too - they have people who love them and care about them and…. That’s why it's so incredibly important that you social distance properly.
TAYLOR
Yeah I think that on... to second that, Hannah, I mean especially like... I just speak personally for my community, like in communities of color, this is not a matter of “oh, you get to like, get a haircut at a salon or you have a right to eat at some likem restaurant that isn't really essential to people,” like this is a matter of life and death. And like some of the protests are like super, um…. I think like politically, a lot of them are very, “oh the virus is only killing the weak” and that rhetoric is extremely harmful and very um….Nazi idealist. Like, to support the idea that like disabled people and people who aren't as quote-unquote healthy have no value or worth to society is extremely harmful and was like what really fueled like, the death of a lot of people. And I think that that's something you need to really acknowledge and be self-aware of and I think that some people aren’t! And so -- they’re on the news, and they’re getting coverage, and that that makes me really angry. That makes me really pissed.
And having immunosuppressed family, like with my brother who has the heart transplant, and with my mom was just diagnosed with an autoimmune disease before the quarantine, and my dad who has diabetes - like they're all extremely susceptible to getting coronavirus and like suffering more from it, and that's really scary. Even though my only, my only other brother is the essential worker and even though he's not immunocompromised like the fact that he could possibly pass that on to one of the immunocompromised people in my family is a scary thought and you know, and I think it's extremely hard on my mom for her to have to like socially isolate herself from her two sons. And it’s been hard for her because she's like I've obviously I want to go check in on my brother with the heart transplant but she can't, because she could have it, and she could give it to him, and he’d have a worse time dealing with it than she would.
Um, and I think that that's one of the reasons why some of the protests are making me so angry because I'm like, it's extremely easy to contract the virus, and it’s extremely - because it’s airborne - and it’s extremely, um - like, it has a high rate of passing on to multiple people at once, it’s like 1 to 4 people I think, like for every 1 person who’s infected, 4 other people could get it. It’s an extremely high contracting rate… and I’ve been always taught that we have to take care of our elders and that elders come first. Like, we give them a lot of love, a lot of blessings. So for something to happen to them, I’d be like very devastated I think.
RICARDO
And going along with that, something that I think is important to know, especially like now, is just look at like how the media and the government are looking at these protesters, like right? Like I consider them to be terrorists because they're going - they're literally putting Americans in danger by being outside and not respecting these rules, right. But if we take like, if we go back into the future, not even that long -- back in the the future -- back into the past not even that long ago, what happened during the protest for the Keystone Pipeline? What happened during protest for Native American land and Indigenous land, right? Those protesters were met with mace and pepper spray and like all these violent things when they was just … and it was a peaceful protest … and now we have these biological terrorists, biological warfare terrorists, whatever, I - that's my opinion, I feel that they are - out here advocating for like, “give me back my prom, let me go get a haircut!” - like Karen, stop. Go home.
WILL
Stop, Karen. Every single life is valuable and it is a privilege to be able to help out, like the main thing you have to do to help in this situation is to stay home and not interact with people. Stay clean, that stuff. And for the people who are protesting social distancing I believe they are severely misled and think that their rights are being taken away.
HANNAH
I’m also kinda furious about this protest having, like, all of this airtime, when like, there was a protest happening- there are a protests happening in Little Village, because a coal plant has been, a former coal plant has been knocked down, and it’s like, they are doing construction work on it and it’s making the air unsafe to breathe, there’s all this dust in the air, and its really- to, to make it hard to breathe when there is a pandemic - where there is a respiratory virus - I feel like its so, so wrong and that’s something we should be protesting. If you wanna- and they’re protesting safely, too! They’re protesting from their cars, like signs on their windshield- and there are so many things to protest that make sense right now, like how essential workers are being treated. You can protest the way that, like, Amazon is treating their workers, you can protest the fact that like- how some schools treated their students- SO many things to protest and you’re choosing to go out and put people in danger because...you can’t get a haircut? Like that doesn’t make any sense to me.
TAYLOR
Yeah, and I mean- I don’t mean to speak, like for too long, but I went to the caravan protest for Little Village to protest the smokehouse. And we were in our cars we - we were wearing masks. Like, yes we were obstructing traffic but Lori Lightfoot had the police quote on quote “ESCORT” us down the way so that they could feel like they had any semblance of control- which they didn’t, but- but [laughs] no, but we drove all the way from Little Village High School all the way down to City Hall. And we just kinda drove around City Hall, blocked traffic, shouted out “support workers rights,” like “down with Hilco, abolish prisons, Free Them All” - because that was also one of the other main goals of the protest, to support the #FreeThemAll campaign.
But onto the idea that so many people are misinformed so they’re like, protesting the quarantine and social distancing, like, it really just goes to show that they don’t listen to immunocompromised and disabled people and how to deal with like the quarantine and how to social distance properly, and those are the voices we need to be uplifting, cuz they already know what it’s like, to be unfortunately trapped in their homes and to not be able to go anywhere for the fear of getting sick or being hurt, and because of the fact that most of our world is like, built around ableist logic. Like, there’s - when we go to a franchise and there’s not always elevators, there’s not always ramps, there’s not always like, access to availability in certain buildings and so like, they know like how it feels to be forced to either work from home, or live from home, or be financially dependent on somebody else, and I think that we should uplift that and acknowledge that.
SOPHIA
Yes! Yes- I’m like [snaps fingers], I want my snaps to be heard right now. Yeah, like, with what everyone’s saying right now, I totally agree with y’all. I also feel like- it’s kind of like - what happened to all...the protests before this pandemic? You know, the ones that were nonviolent that became violent because you know, police decided for that to happen, not the people protesting. And here are all these people like - being someone who contracted the coronavirus, it’s - for me it’s kind of like - it feels like the slap in the face, honestly. Because it’s like, congratulations, you had the privilege of not contracting the virus! Great for you! But- it’s like, what about for the rest of us who have literally been through it, and it’s not fun, and it’s not something that is easy, either. Anybody at any age can get it, doesn’t matter how old you are, whatever. But yeah, it’s just like, the idea of these protests- it’s like, a haircut is not as important as someone else’s life. And if you could like, stand there and tell a family member of yours that, that like, your life is not as important than my haircut, like - would you? I don’t think you would. You know what I’m saying? Just because it’s like people you don’t know, or you haven’t like, been around, doesn’t mean that they’re not important. And you know, it’s just like, the news is wild.
And you know I just recently found out there’s actually a detention center in my - around my neighborhood, and it's by this- there was this military academy my cousin went to, and right next door across the street, they have, like, I don’t know how many children have been detained due to their immigration status- and they are all sick! You know what I’m saying? Like how are you gonna, basically imprison these young children- they have done nothing wrong, they have never committed a crime, they’re just young people, and at this point, they are missing their families, their families were taken from them in the middle of everything else, and now they’re sick. You know what I’m saying? And there was a protest that happened I believe, maybe the last week or the last week and a half ago, people went to this building- can’t remember what street it was on, but if I do will mention it in the next podcast- you know, like, that’s just wild to me! Like how can you still have people who are completely innocent, who just want a better life for themselves, and even like you know, young people who didn’t even choose to be here, you know. How could you let that happen?
And so, yeah, I really think these protests are very ridiculous. Like, I understand if you’re a business owner, and you know, your livelihood is suffering because of this pandemic- in some ways I understand that. And I feel like the government hasn’t done enough to help people with their own businesses in order to make sure that they stay afloat during this time of lockdown. But with that being said, if you do reopen a business, especially one that’s not considered essential, do you have a plan? On how to - keep work stations sanitary, whatever the job may be. Do you have a plan if one of your workers gets sick and you need to shut down just to sanitize the whole building? You know? Do you have a plan on how to socially distance your customers? It’s just like, I don’t think these thoughts are... coming into people’s minds quickly enough, you know? And it’s just like, if you have the privilege of not having been sick, or thinking you won’t get sick, you gotta think again. Because this is not something that affects few people, it affects all of us. I mean, there’s a reason why it’s a worldwide pandemic. You know what I’m saying? [Exhales] And with that said, Will, can you please lead another BiBo?
WILL
Yes I can! BiBo. [Pause for breathing.] Another one, since we had such a saturated conversation. Let’s inhale, like love and joy and exhale, let it go through us. BiBo. [Pause for breathing.] Wow.
TAYLOR
I think that I would like to uplift something that, Sophia you had said earlier, about you have sympathy for businesses, and I think recognizing like, the restrictions that people are protesting for, that are quote on quote “loose,” are only going to end up hurting local small businesses and profiting bigger businesses, effectively you know, keeping capitalism in place because capitalism is all about free market or whatever, but yet they put these restrictions on local businesses, saying that “oh you don’t need to open up because you’re not essential but let’s open up these 500 McDonalds and have all these people come in and have the employees and essential workers, be like, I guess- what’s the word- susceptible! There we go! To the coronavirus because people want to sit and eat inside Mcdonalds.” And I’m just like, ok but you’re not understanding that- people could literally die! Like! I don’t understand!
And also recognizing the demographic- especially in Chicago specifically, there was an article that was released, that 70% of COVID 19 deaths were Black. They were Black people, they were Black communities, and also in Louisiana it’s the same thing- majority of their deaths were Black people! And I feel like nobody’s recognizing that of course people of color are going to disproportionately die at the hands of COVID-19 because they obviously are either like in- number one, there are disparities in their communities versus white communities - white upper middle class communities who have the safety and stability to not work, again, uplifting that. And also the fact that there are neighborhoods that are near polluted areas- like Little Village, literally near a smokehouse- that makes them more susceptible to contracting COVID-19. Almost 2 hours after the smokehouse had gone down, someone - I think it was two hours, maybe it was three - but apparently somebody had literally reported a death after the smokehouse had- ultimately crashed onto the - onto the you know, the floor or whatever. And I think that is like, obviously like, painting the clear disparities that a lot of people weren’t seeing before, between communities of color and versus these white communities, like, clearly who is suffering more? Who is suffering more?
RICARDO
Yeah, and like capitalism is such a predator/prey model, that right now currently we’re seeing how it’s swallowing us whole. It’s swallowing us in terms of businesses, it’s swallowing our communities of color, it’s pressing its oppressive foot down our throats, and still telling us that we need to get up and work. Which is so harmful and so traumatic for so many other reasons. Um, and... there are so many more things the city can do, there’s so many more things that can happen at a local, state and federal level instead of just sending out stimulus checks to everyone including the wealthy, where, what is a one time stimulus check to this point gonna do for you if you can’t get nutritional food? For the undocumented immigrants that no longer have, you know, money coming in and they didn’t get the stimulus check, what are you saying to them? When you don’t offer a rent freeze, what are you offering to them? For all these people, period, what are you offering to the people that can’t defend themselves publically or verbally, and can’t even show up cause they are immunocompromised.
HANNAH
Also I think it’s important to shout out the ways these protests are putting people in danger in indirect ways. So, the city- the states can’t- they’re not gonna reopen until the coronavirus have gone down for, have gone down low enough for a long amount of time. And the deaths are gonna keep going up, the rates of infection are gonna keep going up unless we social distance properly. And that means that people who don’t eat at places that arent school, can’t eat. People are still stuck at home with abusers and people are still going to have to be working, like, trying to pick up jobs at grocery stores and fast food restaurants that make them unsafe, for as long as these protests continue. And I think there really needs to be a discussion about, like, exactly how much privilege is going into these protests to be able - to even like, to even be able to like, think about protesting for something as, like trivial as a haircut - I think it’s just wild to me.
RICARDO
Also I just wanna uplift that really, go check up on old people and everyone that these protesters are targeting, because news gets to them the same way it gets to us. For a personal experience, my grandparents literally told my dad, like, don’t bring them anything, they feel that they’ve already lived, therefore they feel it’s justifiable to go out, into the virus, and to save ourselves because we haven’t lived. That’s a terrible mentality and these protesters are putting up that mentality. So check up for your old people, check up for your immunocompromised, check up for your community, period.
WILL
Thank you, Ricardo, for that, and you’re also opening up a segway to the closing. Like, thank you all so much for sharing and spending this time having such an in-depth conversation with each other.
SOPHIA
Yes, thank you so much.
WILL
Yeah, for a check out- the question we have for you is there any self care strategies or messages of love that you want to share with us? And anyone who might listen to us. For me, biggest message, self care strategy I have is take everything day by day, take time and the stillness that you need.
HANNAH
Um, I would just say be super freaking gentle with yourself. You’re not worth what you can do. You’re worth who you are. So don’t get caught up in, like, being overly productive or anything like that.
RICARDO
To go with that, Hannah, if you wanna be wild, go wild! If you’re not a gentle person, don’t be gentle. Like, si tu quieres perrear, go perrear. Although the clubs are down and all that, twerk in your room, twerk in your room. Work it out, bust it out! Do whatever you can, music is healing and so is movement.
TAYLOR
If you wanna sleep, then sleep! I feel like, you know, be super gentle to yourself, and also getting that 10 hours of sleep that you so desperately need cause you did work the other day, all day, if you need that ten hours of sleep, and way into 4 pm, just do it! Like, just do it! If you have that time, just take the time to care for yourself. And also on the other hand, if you have that care for your family, then talk to them, talk to your friends, make sure that they’re okay, and that if they need anything you can provide, then provide it. I feel like, you know, building self care is community care, community care is self care!
SOPHIA
Yes! Yes. For me personally, I think if you wanna eat, eat, sleep, sleep, you know, like, you wanna work out, that’s up to you! [laughs] That’s something you can do if you want. Yeah. I think stay connected with family and friends is super important. Even if it’s a family member you haven’t seen or spoken to, even a friend, like you know, reach out to them and just be like “hey, how are you, how are you doing during this time,” because, honestly, reaching out to someone- it really helps, you know. So much. People don’t even know sometimes how much it helps- just that a little short conversation can be so much help for someone.
Yeah, I would say if you’re at grocery stores, if you’re at places with essential workers, you know if you have a moment, if they have a moment, please thank them for everything they’re doing. Like, they are going through so much stress and pressure during this time. Sometimes it’s a really nice moment to just be like “Thank you so much for all your hard work, thank you for everything you do, and I hope you stay safe, stay healthy,” you know?
I think- and also make things! Like if you like art or maybe if you’re interested in music or any - any kind of creative process, definitely use this time to create, to make, I find that’s the best therapy. Have genuine conversations with people, reach out to folks, call people. I didn’t like FaceTime before this, but now I love it. So just do whatever it is that you feel helps you, if that not watching news, or if it’s listening to music, do that, dancing in your room, do that, whatever it is.....Yeah, that’s all I got!
HANNAH
Oh! Just one last thing- to add onto what Sophia was saying, if you wanna create art, and you feel like you’re not good at it, make it anyway! It’s a capitalist idea that art has to be sellable and profitable to be worth making. It’s just - it’s a human thing, it makes us feel good. Just create things just to create them.
RICARDO
Do you booboo, do you!
SOPHIA
Exactly! I mean we may learn about white people’s art in art school and stuff like that, but that’s not the only art that needs to be in existence, you know. It’s not the only art that’s important.
WILL
Thank you so much for spending this time with us, thank you everyone for sharing stories with us, thank you, I’m so - This is amazing and I feel very full after this conversation.
SOPHIA
Yeah, same. Thank you for everyone who could be here today.
WILL
And to the listeners, at home, where you should be!
[MUSIC]
WILL
Thank you for listening to “Time to CHAT.” Don’t forget to check out “SexualiTEA” in the next episode. It’s our segment chatting about sex and sexuality through a youth perspective. This podcast works on an alternating schedule. One episode, we chat - as you listened here - and one episode, we give you the “SexualiTEA.” Our first “SexualiTEA” episode also focuses on quarantine. And lastly, because information about sexual and reproductive health services has sometimes been hard to find under COVID-19 quarantine times, ICAH has released a resource guide to support folks getting their needs met. Check out that resource in the description. See you next time. Follow @ICAHgram for updates !
[MUSIC by HiMyNameIsMariana]
SOPHIA
[LAUGHTER] ...Not a theatre major!! But I’m trying. I low key wanted to be, not gonna lie.
[END]